Plane Insanity

I bought a book last week entitled "Plane Insanity: A Flight Attendant's tale about sex, rage and queasiness at 30000 ft". Now, before I say anything about it, let me just tell you first how I got this book. I've been buying stuff from ebay since last April. Since then, I have searched for items that have anything to do with being a Flight Attendant. From Lanyards to Shirts, Collectibles to Tags, and Books. I ordered this book way back in June and I have been waiting impatiently for it to arrive but no luck. After 3 months and 1 follow up (they lost my book in the mail the first time, and no it hasn't arrived yet) I saw a book sitting just in-front of my right foot at Book Sale. I was looking for other Rough Guide titles and when I looked down, there it was. It was just a fraction of the cost of the one I bought from ebay (75php against 650php). I felt so excited that I called my cousin out loud (you guessed it. Everyone at the store was staring at me). I quickly bought the book and went home. It was already late when we got home. I quickly took it out of its plastic covering and opened the book with a smirk on my face. I flipped the pages just to see some of its contents, and had the urge to read the book but it felt like it wasn't the right time to read. It's all about timing right? I decided to bring it with me to school so I could read a few chapters during my vacant hours.

I started reading the book from the very first page (reviews). The book tackles about the life of a Flight Attendant behind glitter and glamour. From crying infants to adventurous adults, Elliot Hester had faced them in 16 years of flying. He started as a baggage handler working underneath the plane's belly with the temperature dropping below zero before stepping up and worked as a Flight Attendant.

Here's some interesting situation he/ his coworkers had in their career.

• While a female flight attendant was serving food from the meal cart, a female passenger thrust a small bundle of trash toward her. "Take this", the passenger demanded. Realizing that the trash was actually a used baby diaper, the attendant instructed the passenger to take it to the lavatory herself and dispose of it. "No", the passenger replied. "You take it!" The attendant explained that she couldn't dispose of the dirty diaper because she was serving food-- handling the diaper would be unsanitary. But that wasn't good enough answer for the passenger. Angered by her refusal, the passenger hurled the diaper at the flight attendant. It struck her square in the head, depositing chunks of baby dung that clung like peanut butter to her hair. Thw two women ended up wrestling on the floor. They had to be separated by passengers.

• When bad weather closed the Dallas/Fort Worth airport for several hours, departing planes were stuck on the ground for the duration. One frustrated passenger, a young woman, walked up to a female flight attendant and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to do this". The passenger then punched the flight attendant in the face, breaking her nose in the process.

• A flight attendant returning to work after a double-mastectomy and a struggle with multiple sclerosis had a run-in with a disgruntled passenger. One of the last to board the plane, the passenger became enraged when there was no room in the overhead bin above his seat. He snatched the bags from the compartment, threw them to the floor and put his own bag in the space he had created. After hearing angry cries from passengers, the flight attendant appeared from the galley to see what the fuss was all about. When the passengers explained what happened, she turned to the offending passenger. "Sir, You can't do that," she said. The passenger stood up, cocked his arm and broke her jaw with one punch.

Definitely defies the fact that flight attendants aren't just there to serve peanuts...

This book by Elliot Hester has 3 titles. The one I have is Plane Insanity, the 2nd name is Air Confidential, and I forgot the last title but it’s basically all the same. These books can be purchased on Amazon.com.

---back to reading---

Elliott Hester (Planning his trip for his next book: The Continental Drifter)

7 ways to annoy flight attendant

1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal

Over the years, I've seen a pet on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can't follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you're on the plane. Yes, even if you've paid a "pet-in-cabin" fee.

2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane

You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."

3. Think that because you're on an airplane you're off-duty as a parent

Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It's an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Legos at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won't make a horrible mess.

4. Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself

I won't be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn't have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you've packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can't? Pay the fee and check the bag.

5. Gripe that you haven't been seated in a roomy exit-row seat

The exit rows weren't created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don't complain. I'm just doing my job.

6. Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you" 

Someday I will be muttering "under the seat in front of you" in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don't understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It's under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I'm on the topic: Please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?

7. Whine about the high price of flying

When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they're not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it's not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It's a bargain! At that price, you're barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You're already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don't get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You're getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!

http://www.airliners.net/aviation-forums/general_aviation/read.main/4419291/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30687124/