Why?

Lord,
Last year, you gave me something great. It might be a Christmas gift from you. I know I wasn’t looking that time but it happened. I was so happy but why did you have to take it away after 9 months? If I knew you would take it away, I would’ve returned him to you immediately. Lord, why me? Why do I have to suffer like this? Every time I mask the pain, it just finds its way back and I bounce back to the first day when he left me. This is too much. I beg you to please take it all away or make my heart as hard as a stone. I never knew that loving so much will become this unbearable. Why do you have to test me over and over again? All I wanted is to pass the test, not to perfect it. Take it back. I know I’m not perfect but there are other people who deserve this pain I’m going through. I’ve been a loyal, loving and caring partner for him so why me? Why did you give me a sensitive heart? You could have given me the heart of a criminal but you made me weak. I’m in so much pain right now. Please take me. Lord, stop testing me. I can’t do this anymore. Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough? What did I do to deserve this? Tell me and maybe I will understand. I want my heart to stop beating. Lord, make it all go away please. I’m on my knees now. What else do I have to do? I trust you Lord but please make it bearable. I don’t know if chances still exists coz’ right now I’m so confused. We’re ok one day and then we’re not. You’re making me happy one moment and then you’d take it all back. WHY? Just give me the answers. Talk to me. I’m so tired but you won’t let me give up. Take my life if that’s what you want. I’m ready.

Sincerely,
Cedric