Saturday, November 26, 2011

Until It Beats No More

On Monday, I will be single for two months. The first month had been really hard for me. I didn't get over it unscathed. I've tried different approach to move on but this one is by far the most successful. It's been two weeks since I signed up in a dating/networking sites which I was really trying to avoid. I'm single so it wouldn't hurt, and besides I told myself if ever I get in to a relationship again, I would delete my account there. So there, I've been meeting and talking to a lot of people lately and I must say I'm really enjoying this. And then there's this one person who really captured my attention. The one you're calling DINOsaur. I know I don't have to explain anything but for goodness sake! We are not together! It just happened that we both have the same story. Both left by someone we love during the last week of September and supposedly be turning one by December. Anyway, Why am I writing this? I don't know too. I guess I just have to write something just to clear my mind up. I've been wondering why are you still texting me every now and then after you made it clear that you don't want to hear from me again. I don't know your motives and it's confusing me. You left me like I was nothing to you when I gave you everything of all that I am. I loved you until the very last tear. I don't hate you. I just hate how you treated me after you left me. All those heartbreaking words you said really left a scar on me. But I know how to forgive. That's something you really need to learn. YOU ARE NOT GOD! Lower your pride and learn to forgive. What I went through was really traumatic and I really need someone to help me cope up or else I would have lost it ages ago. Nevertheless, I may change a bit but it never damaged my spirit. I know I will love again. And when that time comes, I won't be scared. I will take risk and I will give him the same treatment as I gave to you. I will make him feel loved and cared for everyday of his life. The one thing you just thrown out because you were so weak to handle it. I know I'm not perfect but I am definitely not the worst and someone knows that. I love you so much that it still hurts every time I think of the things you said to me. I hope you're happy, now that you left me wounded and in tears. I have paid my dues and now we're even. We both wasted each other so I really don't know who is at fault this time. Don't blame me if I wanted to be happy. You know sooner or later I will find someone. I've tried to wait for you but every time I try to show it to you, you shove me further away from you. I wanted to fix us but you tore me to pieces.

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